Melissa Frei

Dear Melissa,
In December I lost someone that I loved very much and I miss him. I speak to him daily and I often write him letters. My question is, does he know? Can he hear me? We had a problem in our relationship before he passed and I did not get to say good-bye to him, his death was sudden and I know that he was unhappy the day he passed. I need him to forgive. Is this possible? I have found Jesus through his death however and I am studying the bible. My grief is less because of Jesus being in my life.

Dear Melissa,

My beloved dog, Jack, passed away three years ago. He was sixteen years old and the love of my life. I miss him every day although I know his Spirit is always with me. I dream of him often and I talk to him all the time and always when I am cooking! He used to sit in the kitchen and watch me cook and now, whenever I cook, I always end up accidentally dropping some food I know that is a ‘wink’ to him that that food is his! I keep his ashes on a shelf in my living room. I wrapped his collar around the urn. In the past few weeks I have come home twice to see his collar on the ground in front of the shelf. This is very odd since the collar is literally wrapped around the urn and cannot easily fall off. Any insight into why this is happening? I feel it is a sign from him. Am I right?

Sincerely,
Jack’s mom

Dear Jack’s mom,
I want to start off by saying thank you for allowing me to connect with Jack, he is amazing. He is such an old soul with whole lot of spunk. You know the one thing that I have learned by communicating with animals is that they are all around us. They usually stay with us when they pass away until they make their way back into our lives. There is a special connection that we carry with our pets; they come into our lives to teach us whatever we need to learn at that time. When they pass they continue to stand by our sides. The really great thing is that you can still utilize them in that matter and make the connection.  I have found that our pets come into our lives several time throughout our current lifetime.

You feel that Jack has a message for you and you are spot on! I feel that he communicates with you all of the time and I feel that he still sits in your kitchen while you are cooking. But yes there is a bigger message. I feel that he is saying to you: I know that you have thought about getting a new pet, you think how much you miss me and then get filled with sadness and think, “I don’t want to go through that again”. “I know you are in a place of vacillating back and forth. My message to you is that I am ready to come back into your life when you are. I have been trying to let you know that I am ready. There is no pressure as you know when you need to do it; I just want you to know I am ready.”

Thank you Jack’s mom for letting me experience him, he is ready to come back into your life; however you have to feel 100% ready to have that happen again. He will not be the same temperament as your Jack was but it will be his spirit. Time will tell but just trust and know in your heart when you are ready, and when you are ready to go for walk he will be there!
Love,
Melissa

Dear Melissa,

My question has to do with my guy Mike. I have known him for three years and he is married so our friendship / relationship is not based on just sex but a bond and trust we have for each other. I don’t want to influence him in any way to leave his wife, that has to be his choice and in his time. Do I wait or go? My heart says wait, hang in there. My head tells me are you nuts! Where does his heart stand with me? And what does he really want? What do I need to learn while I am waiting?
Thank You! Stuck!
 
Dear Stuck!
 
I know that this must be a hard thing for you to be going through right now, so I want to start off by saying thank you for trusting in me and spiritual guidance to help you navigate this situation and help can see clearly. This is very delicate, so I want you to also know that there is no judgement on my part, just an open channel of love for you.
 
When I read this I definitely heard is that you are indeed “waiting” for this man because he is not available right now, nor is he in a position to be open for you in a relationship. But when I say to you that he is not available what I mean is that, yes, he might be married but that is not why he is unavailable. So lets shine some light on him.
 
I feel that he is unavailable in all of his relationships be it his marriage, with you, friends or family. He is a person that has a hard time making a commitment because he is afraid he will loose something if he commits. Why I feel this is important is because we need to take you out of the picture so you can see what he is going through and how he shows up in life. He feels like if he makes drastic changes in thinking it will solve problems but it never does. No matter what he thinks it does not hit the root of the issue for himself. I feel like one day he will make a choice for himself that is productive without spinning his wheels. I have the hope that he will get clear with himself and realize that he has to find his own answers to peace and happiness.
 
I feel that he does care about you and that he is as authentic as he can be with you. I also feel that you give him something that he is not able to receive from anyone else. There is a great connection between the two of you. However, it is a safe feeling that he has with you while he is unavailable. He does not have to worry about the commitment thing with you so you are safe. The reason I say this is because if he leaves his relationship, you need to make sure he has worked on himself or else he will recreate the same thing with you that he had with his wife.

 
As far as what he wants, he does not know. He wants to feel peace in his heart and until he stops searching everywhere else and starts looking inside himself he will not find it.
 
What do you need to learn? You need to ask yourself why you are putting your life on hold. Is there a safety you find with him because he is unavailable? I feel that you have a trend of dating men that are emotionally unavailable. So I feel what you need to learn during this time is what you truly want in life. What are you worth to yourself? Allow yourself to feel that your head and your heart and your gut are all in alignment. I feel like you need to look at your part in this waiting game and heal your past relationships. If he is ready or if you choose to let someone else in, you need to have your side of the street clean and be ready for an amazing relationship. You are worth it!
 
You both are amazing people, but you each need to heal your own lives and clean up both of your “baggage” before you can move on. The gift is that you both have an opportunity to heal and work on yourselves. Once the work is complete you can make clean decisions and potentially move in a GREAT direction.
 
Love,
Melissa

Dear Melissa,

In 1993 my grandmother had a stroke and fell into a coma that she did not recover from. I flew to Ohio to join my family at her deathbed. I brought with me most of the jewelry that she had given me. It included 3 rings, a necklace and a pair of earrings. I wore them during the week I was there, during which, she died at her home, with all of us family surrounding her, talking to her and holding her hands. Upon my return home, as I unpacked, I found that my jewelry was gone. I do not remember taking it off in Ohio, or packing it for the flight home. It was just gone. All the jewelry that I’d brought with me wasn’t gone, just the finer items that Grandma Blanche had given me. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY JEWELRY? It has been the big, heart-wrenching mystery of my life for the past 20 years. Please can you enlighten me on this matter?

Thank you and bless you,
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY JEWELRY?

Dear WHAT HAPPENED TO MY JEWELRY?

WOW! When I read this I had a lot of strong emotions. First, I felt how amazing it was that you were all able to be there with your grandmother. The love that I felt around the whole family being together was magical and the support amazing. She acknowledges that she had so much fear in her passing but that the united front that the family had formed helped her let go and cross over. She wants to really acknowledge that and say thank you!

As far as the jewelry, I can feel the energy of it on your body during that time. I also feel that there was a female there at that time that feels younger and not on a great path at the time. I get that she has addiction problems. I also feel that there was a lot of jealous energy around her as well. I hear the name ‘Marie’ as I am typing this message. The day before you left I feel that the jewelry did come off. I know that you said that you do not remember taking it off, but  I felt that you did. I felt that it was off over night. Now I also keep hearing a Thursday night around this as well. I feel that this women/girl took the jewelry. I feel that she took it for the money that she could receive for it. I also see that it was all in a spot on a little dark brown table/nightstand.

I know that you said you do not remember taking it off but I really feel that the energy at that time was intense and that it was such a powerful experience with the family. I see you taking it off because your skin felt irritated and I feel like it was due to the energy.

I know this is a lot of information, but let it sink in and see how it feels. Another thing you might want to try and do is before you go to bed, write down on a piece of paper “What happened to the jewelry?”.  Allow yourself to experience and remember in your open dream state! I hope this helps. I do feel that unfortunately the jewelry was taken to a pawn shop.
The final message that I feel from your grandma is, “It is OK that it is gone. You have a special part of me in your soul and spirit! You have something that nobody could ever take. I ask you to remember the time that was spent between you and I, like when you were a little girl playing dress up and putting lipstick on. Those are the memories we will always have!”

Love,
Melissa

Dear Melissa,

First of all, thanks!

I wonder for what reason did my Jack Russell Terrier (mix) come to me?

I met him at church – through my church’s pet ministry where they  save animals and then bring them out at the end of a service… almost 2 years  ago, when he was about 7 months old. He was named Rocky already and really is  adorable. There were a few signs that made me pay attention.

The problems are with other dogs, and his obsessive, high energy play that keeps us  from the dog parks. Even when walking (on leash) he’ll want to lurch out or bark  at some people and most dogs. I am going to address these behavior problems with  a trainer, tool, but just thought I’d share.

I’ve always been curious  about the little fella and his past, etc.

Thank you,

Always Been Curious

Dear Always Been Curious,

You know, when we come across a pet we often look at them and wonder “How did you find me?” Do they choose us or do we choose them? I find that the path of our beloved pets might be as simple as we are the the person to help them find their home, we may have had many past life connections or we just wanted a companion and found each other.

In the case of your Rocky, I feel like there iss a mix of reasons, so lets start out with your connection with him. I feel like you both needed each other at that time he came into your life and I feel that this is the first time this lifetime is the first time you have connected. Rocky had been tossed around in his short amount of time and I do not feel that he was abused, however, I do feel that he never really had any stability in his life. He needed to have a rock, a person that was patient, kind and loving to be able to work with him to be who he truly is. I also feel that he was taken from his mother and his litter mates too soon. As far as why you… well you have such a gentle soul and spirit! Plus, this is an important project for you as well. I feel that about 6 months before you found each other that you had a loss and a big transition.. it feels as though you had/have a void. So now he came into your life! He is a project for you in the sense that you can heal from that void as well as have a great pup!

Here is why he has problems: Like I said earlier, I feel like he was taken from his litter mates too soon so he never really learned how to be in a pack as well as how to interact with other dogs. In such a short amount of time being moved and taken from his mom he became extremely scared which in turn makes him a ” Fear Biter” or one who reacts aggressively out of fear. I feel the training would be great for him, but I will also give you some tool’s too!

1. Dog parks are not good for dogs! There are many reasons dog parks are not good. Mainly you are asking strange dogs to fit in a “different” pecking order each time they go to the park. Second, you are trusting that the other owners are responsible and all the dogs will get along. Imagine that you bring Rocky to the park, you are already nervous because of how he acts with others, then you have the energy of all the people there who are nervous or had a bad day and so on. So we have theses sensitive creatures all trying to “play” in all this energy, it is not good. So I say keep him out anyway!

2. His is obsessive because he needs to channel that energy! First I would say that he needs to go on at least 2 LONG walks a day. He is bored and anxious so it comes out as obsessive. He needs to be “working”. He needs to feel like he has a part to play in life! You can play games with him like hiding hot dogs pieces throughout the house and let him find them.

3. Work with him on the leach. Keep cut up tiny hot dog pieces with you and have him sit when other dogs come up with people. When he sits give him the hot dogs.

This will all take time, so you need to be the pack leader to help guide him. I really feel that this is the time for you to also heal yourself! You will be able to heal that part of you that went missing. You both are on an amazing path together! It will take time as well as trust. He chose you because he knows that you are his pack leader and you are the one who will help him be able to live a strong and healthy life!

I want to also tell you to not don’t get discouraged as it is important for you to stay strong and trust that he has an amazing purpose in your life! He will also have a strong and lovely impact on others. I feel like he will become your side kick! He needs to have trust and know that you are committed to him and that is why I say do not get discouraged because he can feel that! You are both on an amazing path so stay strong!!!!

In Mind,

Melissa

Dear Melissa,

Why is it that the death of a parent so often triggers bitter family issues? I have seen this on several occasions. The most recent was with my aunt and uncle. When my uncle passed his son stopped communication with his mother and sister and actually took them to court over the will. Since I stay in contact with his family, he does not talk to me and will only email if he needs to know something. We used to be as close as a brother and sister. I know this is not the only family to suffer from this type of situation after a death. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you
Blessings and Love for you and your work. May your journey be as blessed as you have blessed others.
 
Thank You,
Family Feud
 
 
Dear Family Feud,
 
This is a great question. It is funny how when we are in the process of losing a loved one families come together and even unite in solidarity, however, when when the loved one actually passes it can be like someone flipped a switch and there is a WAR! 75% of the Mediumship readings I do clients share a story that is exactly like yours so I was so excited to look at this as it is so common. I decided to channel my guides and ask them to answer your question:
 
“This is a great lesson for you all, the human attachment to each other is amazing to watch. You love each other, hate each other, are jealous, betray, honor….you do so many things with and to each other. The hardest thing for you to do is that which you do not do often enough– unconditionally love and forgive.”

I speak of this because when we look at the son and father in question we see that they had a struggle in life together as did the mother and son. There where many hurts the son had. Now imagine all that resentment inside of you and how you might feel owed for having not been valued or loved and having endured a lot of hate. When his father died he had an array of emotions–he was happy, sad, devastated and mad. All the anger and feelings he had toward his father came to the surface. He had these same feelings toward his mother doubling the effect. Since this was an unresolved issue for him at the time of their death, and he sat with the guilt and resentment, he took the hatred and anger out on others…the family.”
 
“It is best to look at it like this: If you leave things in your life unresolved with others it can stay with you forever. It is best to resolve situations around you especially with family. When you experience the death of a family member every human emotion possible comes to light. Those emotions mix with unresolved relationships and you get fighting over money, property or whatever the human thinks they are “owed”.
 
“Through this experience, take advantage of sharing what I speak and look at your relationships in your life with family and resolve what needs to be resolved. Your spirit can never be alive until you reach a place of unconditional love and forgiveness!”
 
WOW, that was amazing! Thank you so much for a great question! I hope this shines a light of clarity for you!
 
In Mind,
Melissa Frei

In a Beautiful Urn, she rests… 
 
Dear Melissa! I have a question. When a loved ones passes and they are cremated, is it a coincidence which family member’s house the remains end up staying at. So I, out of our family just ended up with my loved ones ashes in a beautiful urn that was created for her out of porcelain and hand painted, but I am curious if there is a particular reason if she/my family member that passed chose to be here at my home in her urn? 

Thank you,
In a Beautiful Urn, she rests….
 
 
Dear In a Beautiful Urn, she rests…..
 
WOW, what an amazing question! Before we get started I have to tell you that I took a look at the amount of energy that is around you and it is absolutely beautiful. This is the first time that I have ever been asked this question, so I sat with it and meditated on it for 6 days. I know it sounds like a lot but what I wanted to do was to go very deeply into my communication with my spiritual team on the other side to get the answers to this question!
 
The following information in quotation marks is channeled from my guides:

“People often wonder what happens to the spirit in the crossing over process, whether the spirit cares if they are cremated or buried. It is simply up to the humans. Once the spirit is free from the human body it no longer has attachment to the physical body, the choice to cremate or bury is up to the loved ones. It is for the human and what they need in their life for closure.”

 
“When a person is cremated then what happens to the remains or where they go is unusually up to the humans. Sometimes if there is someone in the family who is having a hard time or not dealing with or coping with the loss the spirit will surround them and everyone in the family might want that human to have the remains.”
 
“Your situation is different. There is a connection between you and the spirit that goes way back. You both are so deeply connected by the bond of the gifts you posses. You two are more similar than you may think. She is here in spirit form to help you connect. She helped the urn come to you for a reminder to you. You have great gifts inside, you have passions that you are afraid to follow and she is here to help you navigate through any fears and live your passions. You will feel her presence around you as she is now here to help guide you. The place where she rests is in your home for you to have a reminder!”
 
I hope this helps. You have a great gift and from what I experienced during my channeling session, your life is just beginning! You can call upon her to help you in your life! START living your dreams! Don’t be afraid! You have support!
 
In Mind,
Melissa

Dear Melissa,

I am very excited to be moving to a new city this August to attend graduate school!  However, I’m a bit nervous in that I’m having to uproot my entire life to do so (quite my job, move, etc.)  I have decided, too, that I am going to look for a place to rent with a roommate, but am worried I won’t find the right place or the right roommate!  I’m pretty spiritual, and have two pets (my dog, Beau, and my cat, Aria)–and need a place that is affordable and a roommate who is on a similar path as me (oh, and likes animals!).  My question for you is, how and when will I find the right place?  And, how will I know where to look and if it’s a good match? Thank you!

Sincerely,
Soon to be student in Colorado

Dear Soon to be student in Colorado,
 
How exciting!!!! I will start by saying that even though moves are exciting, they can also be extremely scary especially when you are moving to a new town. Part of your anxiety about finding the perfect place is coming this natural fear. It is really important that you breath and make sure you take time out each day to ground yourself, whether that is going for a walk, reading a book or doing something for you. The reason I bring this up is because you can get lost in the process and so make decisions out of emotion and fear rather than truth.
 
I feel as though you still have time to sort things out before you go, so you can BREATHE! I get that you do need to start the process now, start looking in different areas and housing situations. I get that if you start looking at places for rent through Craigslist, apartment finders and so on, it will start to shift that energy in the right direction. It will allow you to say “I affirm this move!” and that affirmation will begin to draw the right place to you. Write down positive affirmations and place them in your home or wherever you are so you see them. Call all the places in your budget and have a checklist of your questions so you can interview the people you contact. START NOW!!
 
I have given you a lot of ideas to help shift the fear energy and I feel that you will find a place and secure it before you move. You will be able to see it on one of your trips there. You will know it is right because you will see it, before. LOL. Also, if you follow the steps above, that will answer your questions! I feel that 3 weeks before the move happens you will find it. You will also root there very nicely with a great new support group and lots of new experiences. I really feel that this will be a LIFE CHANGING MOVE!

 In Mind,
Melissa Frei

Dear Melissa,

As far as my pets are concerned…I have one dog and one cat… the dog came first about 11 years ago and his name is Mickey from a shelter..and the cat came second about 3 years ago and her name is Delilah and she was part of a litter that had to be nursed by hand as her mother was put to sleep. We immediately bonded with her and she was supposed to be my son’s pet, but he went to college and she became my best buddy. I am wondering about both of them and why they are here in my life as I know they come for a purpose….

Thank You,

Judy

Dear Judy,

Thank you so much for the great question! One of my greatest passions in life is animals. They are so special to us and serve such great purpose to us throughout our lives. As I reflect on each of my own pets throughout my life, I can clearly see how each one helped me through hard times, happy times, or even reasons I can’t explain but they were there for me, helping, healing, guiding.

So, lets take a look at Mickey. I feel that Mickey came from a hard life, like he was rejected a lot and adopted out to a couple of different family’s only to be taken back. Why I am bringing this up is because I feel like when he came to you that you could bond with him and find an understanding of where he had been in his short life. I feel like throughout your life and his life you have had very similar backgrounds and you have been brought together to experience love abundance in your lives. He has loved you and you have loved him unconditionally. You have showed Mickey that he can be loved, and he has and is showing you that you can be loved unconditionally! So to sum up you and Micky, I feel it is to heal the past abandonment stuff you have both had.

Next, Delilah. As far as her I feel too that she has come into your life for a similar reason as Mickey. You were able to nurture her and become her “mother”. You were able to give her emotional love. I feel that by you giving her the emotional love that she needed you were also healing a part of your life from your past where you were not emotionally loved.

So to sum it up, I feel that both of your pets came into your life at the perfect time that you were ready to heal two aspects of your life: abandonment and emotional neglect. As you continue to heal with them you have been able to make huge leaps and bounds in your personal life. They both say they are so happy to have this opportunity to be with you and THANK you!

In Mind,

Melissa